Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce
Whose Wedding Planning Idea will you choose?
What if you and your groom don't share the same wedding planning idea? What can you do if you want a large wedding and he wants a small one? How do you get past this stone wall? You might as well start compromising now or you shouldn't even get married. There will be years ahead of compromise and disappointment when one of you have to sacrifice.
An important thing to look at is why you are having the disagreement. Does he not want a large wedding because he is painfully shy and breaks out in hives when more than a few people are around? Or is he worried about the money a larger wedding would cost?
Neither one of you should be uncomfortable on your wedding day. If you want a large wedding just because that's what you've always wanted but that will cause your groom pain, you may want to think about compromising. You don't want him to dread his own wedding.
If the groom has a different wedding planning idea for financial reasons, then there is room for negotiation. Although you don't want him spending your wedding day worried about how long the two of you will have to work to pay this off, larger doesn't necessarily have to mean more expensive. If that's all he's worried about and you can show him ways you can cut back on some of the expenses to accommodate all the people you want to have at your wedding then he's liable to come around to your side.
What if he wants to wear cowboy boots and you want a formal affair? If neither one of you offer to compromise on this wedding planning idea, you probably have no business getting married. This is like one of the millions of little things that are going to come up every day in your married life. It falls under the heading of, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Somebody just needs to give in.
If he wants to invite his uncle George who always smells and talks too loud, smile and ask for the address for the invitation. You've got to realize here that he's not trying to impress you with his smelly uncle George but you are the one he wants to show off. Smile through it.
Weddings can be stressful to plan. Don't add to that stress by arguing whose wedding planning idea is the right one. Involve him where he wants to be involved but don't insist that he help you pick out the color of your bridesmaids shoes. He probably doesn't care. He just wants to marry you.
It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble. Kenny, age 7, when asked if it's better to be single or married |